During the month of December we will be focusing on Habit 4: Think Win-Win. Habit 4 is about mutual benefit, fairness, and abundance. Think Win-Win is a frame of mind that seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. It's based on the paradigm that there's plenty for everybody, that one person's success is not achieved at the expense of others. This is known as the Abundance Mentality, yet most people view life with a Scarcity Mentality. They see life as having only so much, as though there were only one pie out there and if someone gets a big piece of pie, it means less for everybody else. When we have an Abundance Mentality, we are not threatened by others' success because we are secure in our own self-worth. We know there is more than enough "pie" for everyone. This comes from achieving the Private Victory in Habits 1, 2, and 3. We move from dependence to independence. As we begin Habit 4, we move into the Public Victory and work towards achieving interdependence.
There are six paradigms of human interaction: WIN-LOSE, LOSE-WIN, LOSE-LOSE, WIN, WIN-WIN, and WIN-WIN or NO DEAL. Win-Win is the habit of effective interpersonal leadership. It is a belief in the Third Alternative. It's not your way or my way; it's a better, a higher way. The six paradigms are described in detail below.
WIN-LOSE: "I'm going to win and you're going to lose."
LOSE-WIN: "Walk over me; everyone else does."
LOSE-LOSE: "If I'm going to lose, so are you."
WIN: "As long as I win, I don't care if you win or lose."
WIN-WIN: "Let's find a solution that works for both of us."
WIN-WIN or NO DEAL: "Let's find a solution that works for both of us, or let's not play."
What are ways you can practice Habit 4: Think Win-Win?
Think About...
1. In what areas of your life do you have a Scarcity Mentality (i.e., that there is not enough money, attention, resources, credit, etc., to go around)?
2. Where might your Scarcity Mentality come from?
3. What could you do to think more abundantly?
Try This...
1. Stop comparing yourself to others.
2. Celebrate your own unique strengths and contributions
3. Celebrate others' success.
4. Share compliments, praise, credit, and rewards liberally.
Being highly effective in this habit means to balance courage and consideration within our interaction with others. This means we are willing and able to speak our thoughts respectfully. This is being courageous. It also means being considerate. We are willing and able to seek out and listen to others' thoughts and feelings with respect. When we do this, we are able to develop Win-Win agreements.